Fortunately, today was much better than yesterday. No crying fits, so all is well. Today was even excellent! The only damper on my spirits is the fact that I still don’t’ have a ticket for my flight to Jeju-do. That’s right…I’m island-bound. Hopefully. I am a little bit worried, but I’m sure I will make it. We Fulbrighters have a big plan in the works for a hoppin’ post-Halloween celebration and I’m really excited for it. Too bad I have no costume and no ideas for one, but that’s never stopped me in the past! Then again, I always had access to a ridiculous number of thrift stores where I could find the perf last-minute costume. Oh, well…first things first. Getting a tic is my first priority, TOMORROW.
So today…though the student teachers definitely didn’t see my best performance, the lesson was slammin’ before they came and I take comfort in that. The kids really got into the survey in a way I didn’t anticipate and showed me that they are definitely understanding what I am teaching them. Lately I worry that I am concentrating too much on vocabulary and not inserting enough useful phrases, but I’m not really sure how to teach them in a way that isn’t mechanical. I’m not supposed to touch on grammar, really…the emphasis, as I’ve complained before, is on learning set phrases, listen-and-repeat style. So I am definitely doing that, but sometimes I think my expectations are too low and I need to raise them to inspire the kids to rise up to the challenge and really learn. Then again, I am afraid I will lose some of them, and I hate to do that so early in their English learning experience. I was thinking about this today as I was looking through the fourth graders’ handwriting work. Should I reward the students who finish and do moderately well, or hold out for only the best handwriting, hopefully inspiring them to all write very neatly? I’m leaning toward the latter, but I don’t know…I don’t want to make them hate English or me! I’m too much of a softy to be a really phenomenal teacher, I think. It’s such a delicate balance, though…too far in one direction and the kids shut down because it is just too difficult, and too far in the other and no one really learns anything new and I essentially become worthless. And no one’s in my exact situation, so it’s hard to talk to anyone else about it. Some of the students, at least, know a lot more than I ever suspected. The older children can all sing the ABCs, even if I haven’t taught them yet, and I found out tonight that many of the younger children know the numbers to ten and other random words such as “head.” I guess review doesn’t hurt, though, and it puts them all on the same page. I suppose this is a case where I need to ask the other teachers for input, but I am not very good at receiving criticism and I really don’t want to hear anything bad. They probably wouldn’t give me an honest answer even if I really am terrible at teaching because they are so polite, but I don’t want to invite too much criticism, either.
I am really loving my students more and more each day. It’s definitely going to be very hard to say goodbye at the end of this year, as I will only be more attached by then. And it’s going to be a very definitive goodbye, too, because it’s not like I will ever run into them again in my life. Oh, that’s too sad to think about! I am in love with almost all of them (a couple of third graders excluded) and surprisingly, they’re not tiring of me yet, either. I’m still Miss Popular around school and loving it. My popularity is extending to TKD now, too, as the kids are becoming more accustomed to having me there. I think they were a little shy at first because most of them are my younger students and don’t know much English beyond what I’ve taught them so far, but now they basically swarm me when I arrive and try to talk to me all the time. My new favorite first grader has really taken to talking to me during our breaks and it’s surprising how much we can talk with the very few words we have in common. Today we sparred in two rounds—first the beginners, then the more advanced students—and while we were supposed to be watching them, he was telling me some words in Korean (I forget them now) and demonstrating his counting ability while snuggling up to my side. It was so precious. I wanted to take him home with me. There was another little girl there, too, who is in my second grade class. She doesn’t really talk to me much (I think she’s shy), but she’s always grabbing my hand and touching me. It’s really cute. So she came to TKD basically just to watch me and get her Jen fix during our breaks by ambushing me and cuddling up to me like a cat. To top this cutefest off, these two left together, she on the back of his wee little bicycle. Imagine, if you will, a small boy, probably fresh off training wheels, taking a cute little girl home. Might even top Alfalfa and his lady, except without all the love mess. I Bin was missing from TKD again today and I was afraid I was really going to miss her, but the lone other girl in the studio has quickly assumed her place as my little helper, showing me the moves I miss when I can’t see the demonstration (because, believe it or not, I usually cannot understand the verbal explanation!). I mean, I do miss I Bin, but the other kids are really steppin’ up to the plate, helping me and entertaining me in countless little ways. So even though I am hopeless in TKD and feel very foolish at times, I am still determined to overcome my lack of coordination with my little friends to help me. They all at least tried to fight me today instead of just running away, and that was at least marginally helpful!
Tomorrow I am playing in a volleyball tournament at another elementary school. I am not really excited about it because I haven’t played in at least a month and will therefore not play well, but I know they want me desperately because I am the only woman at the school who can hit the ball, let alone not shriek when it comes toward me. I wish I had had a bit more practice in the last few years, though, because I feel I am not really showing off my athletic prowess in these games. They joke about me being the best player, but I know how it is. I suppose I just want to rebel against the gender prejudice and am frustrated because in this respect I clearly cannot. Guess I just gotta play more!
Oh, and the weirdest part about today…I ran downstairs to the teachers’ lounge midway through my third period fourth grade class to get some glue. I turned around, glue in my hand, because I heard a noise, and I saw the male second grade teacher WITHOUT HIS PANTS!!! OMG, it was mighty awk. I just fled and I plan to pretend it never happened. I mean, how weird is that? The door to the room wasn’t even closed! What was he thinking?