Today the Mothers’ Club (equivalent to the female PTA, I suppose) took all of us at the school out to dinner in Hongsan. I was a little confused as to the purpose of the whole affair at first, but I guess it was mainly an opportunity for parents to talk with their children’s teachers over food and drink. Somewhat like parent-teacher conferences in America, but much less formal. I ended up sitting at the fifth grade table (because Choi Hyun Moon was there) and I had some awkward exchanges with parents. The awkwardness stems from a multitude of sources. First, I am really uncomfortable around Korean adults in general because I’m never quite sure of etiquette. I haven’t gotten much practice, being around kids all the time. I usually just bow and smile. Second, my Korean is absolutely terrible. However, people usually assume it is much worse than it is and even when I actually do understand (as I did much of the time last night—I was on fire!), they end up repeating themselves over and over, not believing I can understand a word, until they can find an interpreter, who more often than not mangles what they are trying to say. It’s funny some of the time, but doesn’t make for the most stimulating dinnertime conversation. People usually have to be wasted to even try communicating with me—otherwise, they are too embarrassed. I am the one who should be embarrassed, since I know so little of the language even after living here for over five months. I don’t see that changing in the near future, lazy student I am, so I am content with the status quo. Anyway, the third thing that makes communication with parents awkward is the fact that I know so few of the children’s names. It’s really shameful. They’ll introduce themselves as so-and-so’s mom, and I just have to nod and say yes. It’s terrible! I can’t even tell if their kid’s a boy or a girl! I’m working on learning names, but it’s so hard to learn names that don’t follow any pattern I am accustomed to.
So there I was, picking at the special side dishes brought out for the vegetarian, when I encountered my first bribe attempt. This nice lady, as it turns out, is the parent of perhaps my worst third grade student, whom I could gladly have throttled today and taken pleasure in his pain (more on this later). At this point I was feeling more kindly towards him, probably because I hadn’t taught him for a full week. She told me through my trusty interpreter that if I stayed another year, she would knit me a beautiful scarf next winter. Ha! I can knit, too, lady! I’m sure not staying for a scarf!...except, perhaps, if it were made of spun gold. Her son must be saying some good things about me at home for her to want me to stay so much. I guess he likes me well enough, even if he has absolutely no respect for me. Wait…I hope this is not a cause-effect relationship. At any rate, I was flattered that she was that happy with my presence at the school, for she probably has cause more than anyone else to feel employing me is a useless extravagance.
It was shortly after this that our good old long-winded principal stood up and made another lengthy speech. I think I am the only one who was paying attention, and I couldn’t even understand a word! There’s a peculiar Korean habit of not really listening to speakers (or at least, it seems that way to me). They just went about their eating, not looking at him at all the whole time he spoke. They didn’t talk to each other, either, but the whole thing just struck me as an interesting contrast to behavior in America. We would consider this extremely rude and conventional manners would dictate everyone to stop what they’re doing and listen carefully. I didn’t think it was bad—it just struck me as very different. I certainly wasn’t complaining when he called me up there and I had to give a little speech! Everyone watched me carefully, though…obscurity was not mine today. I was flustered and could only get out a hello and a bow before I darted back to my seat.
As the meal was winding down, I was sitting by some ladies who were just getting TRASHED. I always thought the male teachers went at it hard when we went out, but these women put anyone else I’d seen drinking in Korea to shame. They were just slammin’ bottles of soju like water. It was a funny sight…I could actually see them get drunk! They found out I drank some and insisted on me joining them for occasional shots (not like I protested). I think this was not met with approval by the other teachers (or they were concerned for my health, as they always seem to be), because shortly afterward I was ushered out of the restaurant and escorted home.
I made sure to brush my teeth ASAP, so this time Eun Ho never even mentioned my stinky breath. Triumph and cunning are MINE!