Seoul Ski Weekend--Monday, February 26

I am back in Hongsan. My constant fatigue was certainly not relieved this weekend, but my nagging sense of bleh certainly was! It was a reunion weekend of sorts in Seoul, for everyone seemed to be there, celebrating the last weekend of freedom before the new school year starts on Friday. It was a little strange to be surrounded by so many people at first, accustomed as I am to being alone or with Bianca, but it was really nice to see so many of my friends after such a long hiatus. I was surprised with how many people seemed discontented with Korea, however, and were dreading going back to their homestays and jobs. Is there something wrong with me, or them? I love being at home and I think my job is fantastic, but I seem to be the only one! Well, that’s not completely true. I did talk to a few people who are thinking about extending, too, but we are certainly in the minority. Being exposed to such negativity about Korea was a bit of a downer, especially considering how happy I was to return to it, but I suppose we are all in such different situations and seeing such different aspects of Korea life and culture that it’s to be expected. It just emphasizes once more how lucky I was to end up where I did.

I arrived in Seoul midafternoon on Saturday—a later start than usual because I did some writing Saturday morning, but my friends were still asleep when I called! Guess I missed out on some good times Friday night, but it’s just as well. I don’t need to feel any more tired and out of it than I already do. We really didn’t do anything on Saturday except hang out, eat, and then go to the hookah bar later, along with what seemed like the entire Fulbright crew. There must have been at least 20-25 of us there! I stayed over at my friend Jon’s apartment along with four others. It was a little cramped, but it was nice to not stay in a sleazy hotel or smelly hostel for once. I was so happy to just be sleeping horizontally instead of in the bus slouch!

On Sunday, I went skiing with Jon, Jonah, Rachel, Traci, Ryan, Dana, Kiehl, George, and Emerald. It was a bit of an eclectic group of varying skiing skills, but the hill itself did not provide that many options so we ended up spending most of the day together (except for Jon, who was snowboarding on the bunny hill). I have never been to a ski resort like this in my life and this is not a good thing. There was absolutely no snow to be seen except on the runs themselves—all five of them. Seriously. It was brown, except in these few areas. I’ve never skied in such an artificial environment before and I can’t say I really enjoyed it. It was pretty warm, so the manmade snow was super soft and slushy and I struggled in it, since I am used to powder and ice conditions. The ski equipment was also a joke. My skis were maybe up to my chest and the bindings were set so loosely that I am surprised the skis never came off. George’s did, constantly—at one point, his ski flew ALL the way down the hill, only to be caught by Kiehl! It was fun to spend the time with my friends and to experience Korean skiing for myself, but I don’t know if I’d repeat the experience. According to Dana and Ryan, the hill they went to earlier this year was much better, but I have my doubts. Call me a ski snob, but I might have to hold out for good ol’ Bridger.

Last night I spent with Dana, Janaki, and Alexis at Dana’s current Seoul residence. He was actually staying at the house I visited last October when I went to the Halloween party, which was eerie. I didn’t even realize I was in the same neighborhood! The four of us tried to watch a movie, but Dana’s computer was having none of that so we resorted to storytelling. I asked Dana to tell a story as a sort of joke, but he started right up and then we went around in a circle, sharing mostly childhood stories of pets and family. It was really fun to hear more about some of my friends’ experiences growing up, but I did get a little nervous whenever it was my turn because my life seemed so boring in comparison! I mean, I never adopted four possum babies, one of whom nested in my hair (Dana), or accidentally killed a series of pets in imaginative ways (Janaki) or had a creepy high school stalker (Alexis). Guess I’ll have to work on making my life more interesting!

Today I walked to a river park near Dana’s house in Hapjeong but it wasn’t as interesting as I expected, unfortunately. My lucky streak with museums is wearing thin, I am afraid. I also went to a used bookstore and bought more to add to my collection of unread books. I am worried I have a book obsession—I am constantly buying! And this is in addition to the books I already intend to buy online! I actually ran out of money to get home and had to make an emergency bank stop after my extravagant literary purchases. And then I skipped my planned hike and came home. I wanted to come back before eight, for once, in case my family was getting irritated with the late hours. No one was even home, but I like to think they appreciated my efforts. I had a very nice weekend away, but I am looking forward to shaking my cold and continuing to get my life in order before school starts oh-so-very-soon this week. I am definitely not even mentally prepared yet!

Farewell Party--Friday, February 23

I just returned from a dinner party in Buyeo with the teachers at my school. It was supposed to be a farewell to the teachers leaving us—my co-teacher, one of the kindergarten teachers, the gym teacher, and one of the fifth grade teachers. We went to a restaurant I’d never been to before and had—big surprise here—a small ocean of seafood. Good thing everyone looks out for me so well, or there literally would have been nothing for me to eat! I had some roasted corn, eggs, lettuce drenched in mayo, and fried sweet potatoes. I actually like eating these side dishes. I always get more than enough food, with everyone ordering extra for me and giving me all the veggies from each of the tables. Plus, they are usually very delish. Tonight was okay—I was maybe a little bored (and Eun Soon called me out on it)—but it was nice to see everyone. They were all visibly glad to see me, and being a vain person, that pleased me (and their compliments didn’t hurt, too). It’s just too bad so many are leaving. And I never even got a chance to talk to my co-teacher because he left me about three minutes into the dinner. The next thing I knew, he was sitting for a long time with his head in his hands, and then he disappeared halfway through dinner. I found out later from the fifth grade teacher that “he is too much drink” and had gone to his car to sleep. I’d never seen the guy drunk—how crazy! And I had a present to give him and everything. Guess we’ll have to meet up some other time. My new co-teacher (whose name I forget at the moment) is a second-grade teacher and lived in Canada for three years. She’s pretty great and I think it will work out well. It was always my dream to have a female co-teacher, anyway. She was already pressuring me to stay another year…they’re relentless!

Tomorrow I am going to Seoul again. I’m meeting some friends there and then going skiing at a place near Seoul on Sunday. It should be a good time, though I have serious doubts about the “snow.” As in, I don’t see how there could be any at all, and if there is, I’m sure it’s absolute crap. But it’s cool, ‘cause I’ll ski circles ‘round the fools, anyway. This MT upbringing’s gotta be good for SOMETHING.

Recuperation--Thursday, Februrary 22

Today I am a stuffed rice dumpling. I have eaten so much today…is it Thanksgiving and I missed it? What’s with all the food? It is strange to be back home, where I eat even when I am not hungry because host mom knocks herself out fixing my meals. There goes my slender waistline (again).

I have been spending a lot of time at home, hiding under the cloak of “recovery” and “jet lag.” I really did feel ill my first day back—I swear I had a fever—and I still don’t feel completely well, but I suppose it’s more psychological than physical and it’s something I’ll have to get over quickly. I sure can’t keep sleeping in and lazing about with school starting so soon!

I had to drop in to school yesterday morning because my co-teacher called and told me the principal wanted to meet with me. I expected a formal meeting of some sort, but we just interrupted his meeting with new teachers and he held my hand for some awkward length of time and said some sentence in English that I forget now. It really was a momentous occasion, for he’s never spoken English to me before. I wonder if he was practicing. I found out he is staying at Hongsan after all, which is a relief because now I know there won’t be any major surprises in what the school expects me to accomplish. I had daymares of new principals wanting me to cover the book exactly, or taking more of an active role in my classroom, and I was dreading it. Principals really have a lot of say over what goes on in Korean schools and I am relieved the boat won’t be rocked here for the time being. Plus, I like the guy, even though we can’t really communicate. He makes me nervous just because of his role, but he really is very nice and concerned with my welfare. According to an email my co-teacher sent me, the principal was constantly asking him about my whereabouts and health (“Where is Jennifer?”) and my co-teacher would reply that he didn’t know (“I don’t know…maybe in Eastern South Asia!”). What a funny guy. I guess some people have problems with the principal (I suspect my co-teacher is among them), but luckily I am not involved in office politics so I am free to like whom I wish.

I spent some time rearranging the supplies in my room, but I got bored and went home around lunch. I will probably have the first week of school to prepare for the semester as the other teachers figure out the English class schedule, so I’m not too worried. No need to start work already.

I gave Eun Ho, Ye Eun, and my host mother their gifts yesterday. I think they liked them all right. Eun Ho got a flute I picked up in Cambodia and immediately said “Cobra” when I took it out. I guess he was thinking of the snake charmers, because later my host mother played a little and he did a crazy snake dance. It was hysterical. The kid is a born comedian. My host mother could barely keep playing. The kids were also enthralled with the silk scarf I gave my host mother and spent a lot of time pretending to be birds with it. I am always amazed at the way they entertain themselves.

We looked through some of my pictures yesterday afternoon, and though I think they were bored by some of them, most of them kept their attention. Eun Ho was in charge of flipping through them. I was actually somewhat disappointed with the way they turned out—they are a poor, poor shadow of what we experienced, due either to the shortcomings of the camera, the photographer, or photography itself—but I imagine they were pretty incredible in their eyes. I don’t know how much they’ve even seen of Korea and I know they haven’t been abroad. The farming life makes it hard to travel for more than a day.

I got to talk with my mom, dad, sister, and brother today and I am really excited about that. I’d missed them all more than I thought I would during my journey and it was nice to finally hear their voices. Or hear from them at all. Perhaps I am feeling a bit homesick, but I’m sure it will pass once I am busy again and into the school routine. It’s funny how the day-to-day settles over everything and makes you forget how rapidly time is passing.

For now, I am avoiding the big questions and am merely engaged in a battle against lethargy. Do I go on a walk? On a run? Practice TKD? Or just read? Oh, the possibilities of leisure…

Later now. I fought the battle successfully and went on a two-hour walk with the purpose of finding a five-story pagoda my map tells me is somewhere around here. I found a sign pointing to it, but not the structure itself. Darn! Next time.

I just finished giving out presents to my family. The shirt didn’t fit my host dad at all (he’s a bigger guy than I’m used to shopping for)—oops. Hopefully I am not on a secret shitlist.

Home--Tuesday, February 20

Here I am again, back home in Hongsan. It’s a bit surreal—it seems to me that I just left, but for them it must seem like I’ve been gone forever. And there are the minor adjustments to make to life back on the farm. Trying to communicate in another language again, for one. I was spoiled by all the English speakers I encountered on my journey and now I feel that I’ve forgotten most of the little Korean I did know! We had some random guests over this afternoon (two ladies and two men—I have no idea who they are) and I suspect they spent a good deal of time criticizing my language ability while I smiled awkwardly and slipped into a ball on the sofa. Jerks. And then there’s the whole being part of a family thing. I’ve spent six weeks accountable only to myself—it’ll be difficult to get back into the family groove. It’ll all come back, of course, but at the moment I am so entirely exhausted that it’s all a bit overwhelming. I actually got really homesick while on my trip (the first time, really) and I’m more than a little sad I returned to this home rather than that home. Well, I suppose it’s only a few more months until I see MT.

I realized today this was the first time I returned back to a place I visited. It’s a strange feeling to associate Korea with home, but that’s what I felt when I got off the plane. I was so happy to see Seoul—the modernity, the cleanliness, the order, the class…it really is a great city and I am newly inspired to spend more time there.

Bianca and I elected to spend the day there yesterday rather than heading straight home. She most likely regretted this decision, as she learned last night they rescheduled her winter camp to start today, but we did have a good time, even after spending so much time together already. We went to Gwanghwamoon, our usual downtown Seoul haunt, and left our stuff at our usual hostel (they kindly did not charge us). We spent the morning browsing through books—definitely one of my favorite activities of all time. Unfortunately, Kyobo does not have a huge English section and the books I wanted were not available, so I’ll have to go online. I’m really interested in studying some of the history and religion of the areas we visited. Perhaps it would have been more prudent to do so before I left, but now at least I’ll have a better idea of what the books are talking about. I’m especially interested in myths and folklore…I ended up buying a book of Korean folk tales instead and I am really excited to read that.

After the bookstore, I took Bianca on a restored concrete riverwalk I discovered in November while on a walk with a friend. It’s not picturesque in the nature sense, but it is a nice walk and a great spot for people watching. Even though it was a Monday, there were families everywhere, couples strolling, grandmothers, babies…everyone was there, taking in the sights. It’s an interactive walk of sorts—there is a long mural recreating a historic work of a king’s massive procession, along with inscriptions everywhere. My favorite part is a gallery set off to the side that houses a bunch of photographs of the area taken in the last century. It was a shock to see Korea of the 1960s…the riverside area looked almost exactly like that of the countries I just left! Dirty, naked children wallowed in the water. Haphazard shacks on stilts lined the muddy, meandering stream. These people were poor, and it showed. It brought to home once again how much Korea has progressed, and how rapidly. I find myself wondering why I don’t hear more about Korea being a model for development for countries such as Cambodia, Vietnam, etc. Sure, the circumstances are entirely different, but it seems that Korea’s story could be a valuable lesson for those countries struggling to build their economies now. I am inspired to learn more about what’s happened here in the past fifty years.

And then we went to a movie, The Science of Sleep. Earlier that morning, we’d found a theater that showed arthouse flicks, an exciting find, and it was only a couple of blocks away! The movie was really good, but a good portion of it was in French (which was subtitled in Korean, of course), so we couldn’t follow it that well. From the looks of it, we missed a lot of the jokes. I enjoyed it, but it was definitely one of those artsy movies that don’t really have an ending and those always bother me at first. I like things to wrap up neatly and this one definitely didn’t.

I finally headed home after the movie. It was a bit of a nightmare, what with my enormous pack with the broken waistband, putting all the monstrous weight on my shoulders, plus the extra two bags I’d accumulated. Basically, I was a walking study in affluence and I felt like a tool. A tired tool. It’s too bad getting home is so complicated—two different subways, two different buses, and then the long uphill trudge…I was exhausted by the time I got home! My host family was really surprised to see me, I think. I felt bad that I came home so late, but it really couldn’t have been helped. It’s a long journey from Seoul.

And now, today, the trip is catching up to me. I feel sick and exhausted and overwhelmed. My co-teacher called me and he wants me to come to school tomorrow already. NOT looking forward to it! Goodbye, vacation!

T minus two days....--Monday, January 8

Today was my last day of teaching and last day in Hongsan as well. My class didn’t go very well at all—the games were too complicated and not engaging enough—and though I am not happy to leave on such a note, I am so ready to be done for a little while that I don’t care as much as I probably should. Having my winter camp right after classes end was almost torture…just dragging my classes out that much longer and tying me down to the wee village. At least I’m done now and have almost two months of freedom ahead of me.

When I got home today, my host mother asked me when exactly I was leaving and finding out it was tomorrow morning, she hurriedly made some phone calls. And wasn’t I surprised when a huge cake showed up a little while later! My family evidently wanted to celebrate my birthday with me. Two of my host father’s friends came, too, and they sang to me in a mixture of Korean and English over the richest cake I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. It’s gotta be 90 percent butter and it was delicious. It was in the shape of a dog face, which really delighted my host siblings, of course. I made a joke (in Korean!) that I don’t eat dog, and my host mother laughed and said she didn’t either. It’s so fun when my jokes are understood!

And then Ye Eun and Eun Ho pestered me for about four hours. Seriously. It was okay—I really like them both—but they have more questions than any children I’ve ever met and I get tired of answering “What’s this?” every five seconds—literally. But we did finish the puzzle, I finished packing my ridiculously light bag, and I’m all set to head off to Seoul to meet Bianca tomorrow. Life is good, and I’m betting it’ll only get better. I will miss my family here—we’ve been getting along so well now that we’ve gotten used to each other and I’m spending more time at home—but hopefully we’ll fall right back into it when I get back. I recently received a warning email that bad relations with homestays usually begin in the second semester and I am hoping that won’t happen to me. But for now, I am just concentrating on exploring the tropics…Vietnam, here I come!!!

Collecting My Thoughts--Sunday, January 7

Today was dedicated to tying up loose ends and implementing my New Year’s resolutions. I wrote letters and emails to what feels like everyone in the world this morning in keeping with my new policy of trying to keep in touch. If they don’t respond…well, it’s out of my hands and that much less to feel guilty about on my part. I have a real problem with feeling guilty. I always feel I should be doing something more constructive and worthy with my time, but I’m often too lazy to get around to the chores I know must be done. Like writing letters, especially. There are so many people I would like to write a letter to that I just get overwhelmed and never pick up my pen and feel bad about it for months, when all it would take is fifteen minutes of writing a day for a week. Guess it all goes back to my masochistic tendencies…My friend Joel once mentioned that his secret to getting everything done lay in the fact that he always did what he felt was most important at the time. If it lead to some things being unfinished…well, they were the least important anyway. My problem is that I leave the important things for last because they’re usually not as much fun. My dream, actually, is a lifestyle in which I didn’t have to DO so much, but I don’t think it’s possible for me. I am too meticulous and task-oriented to be the free spirit I dream of becoming. But that’s okay, because I don’t think I’d truly be happy that way. I need a to-do list to check off. I just need to make sure it’s realistic and leaves me enough time to relax. And luckily, here in the slow-moving countryside, I usually have time to do just that. I hope I will remember how to relax when I hit the real world again…I would hate to lose my new-found tranquility!

I started another Jack Kerouac book today—The Dharma Bums. It’s pretty good and some parts of it really resonate with me. Some of it strikes me as too new-agey—in particular, I hate how people have latched onto Buddhism as being the spiritual answer to everything and the characters in the book seem to do just that. However, I do like a lot of their other approaches to living. One of the main characters, Japhy, lives in essentially a hut with no real furniture and reads all the time, when not taking off to the mountains for weeks at a time. Living by my wits in the wilderness is kind of a dream of mine but I haven’t yet mustered the courage to attempt it. Going to the cabin when I get back to the U.S. is my first step, and then we’ll see…The protagonist’s disgust with consumption-driven society (evidently a concern even in the 1950s!) voices what I have felt but have been unable to articulate quite as well. He calls for a return to a simpler way of living based in wonder at the natural world:

“…colleges being nothing but grooming schools for the middle-class non-identity which usually finds its perfect expression on the outskirts of the campus in rows of well-to-do houses with lawns and television sets in each living room with everybody looking at the same thing and thinking the same thing at the same time while the Japhies of the world go prowling in the wilderness to hear the voice crying in the wilderness, to find the ecstasy of the stars, to find the dark mysterious secret of the origin of faceless wonderless crapulous civilization” (p. 39).

I guess it’s easy for me to knock the middle-class lifestyle at my age, with virtually no responsibility and the world at my fingertips, but I hope I’ll manage to retain my ideals and dreams no matter my age, for I don’t think this is an immature or unrealistic vision that I will gradually grow out of. Unconventional, yes, but what is convention but just proceeding mindlessly down the same path so many others have trod? That is my greatest fear—that I will sell out for a TV and comfort and become one of the mindless millions. I guess that’s why I was surprised so many of my college friends, no matter their liberal ideas at Pomona, are knocking themselves over trying to find prestigious consulting jobs. I know I shouldn’t feel so critical, but I just don’t think that’s the way I want to or even should live. I want to wander the world, climb every mountain, as it were, and take in adventures and experiences like a desert wanderer takes in water—because it’s vital and necessary. I’m not so concerned about money…in fact, in some ways I wish I didn’t have much because I think the possession of money holds me back from taking risks and, I fear, rather unexpectedly makes me less generous. The more you have, the more you can lose, and therefore I think having less would actually make me happier and less worried about material things. I once had illusions of changing the world, but right now I am more concerned with personal revolution. How can I possibly ask the world to change if I remain the same? And perhaps in the process I will find more answers for my questions on how to live better—more harmoniously, more sustainably, more thoughtfully—and how to reclaim my sense of wonder. That’s what I see as my life’s mission now and I am eager to take it on. It’s time.

Taking Stock--Saturday, January 6

It was snowing today—and hard!—so I guess I can stop complaining about cold without the accompanying white. There’s only a light dusting of powder, but it looks pretty enough. Today is one of those perfect inside Saturdays—no work and nothing to do except relax and eat good food. We had curry today, my personal favorite, especially since it had mushrooms in it this time, and this afternoon we’re enjoying freshly roasted sweet potato, my favorite cold weather snack. I never had sweet potato before Korea, but I’m positively addicted to the stuff. I hope it’s good for you…I consume it almost daily!

I spent a good part of the day gearing up for my upcoming trip. I packed in the morning with the “help” of Ye Eun and Eun Ho. They were highly amused by my big backpack and delighted in taking it on and off. I am trying to pack very minimally (not that I have much stuff here in Korea to begin with!) and I’m pretty impressed with the result. My pack is maybe half full and very light. I think back to the one and two week jaunts around Europe I made in the not-too-distant past with a bulging backpack and I laugh. Perhaps I will be cursing my packing job in only a short while when I run out of clean clothes, but I think I will be too busy to even notice dirty clothes. I’m at least half-hippie by now, I reckon. I haven’t shaved my legs in at least two months and I take two showers a week. It’s glorious! I also looked through my guidebook again, which served to only make me all the more anxious to finally get there and behold all the wonders it raves about, while simultaneously making me a little sad to see how much I’m going to miss out on. After all, I’m only traveling to three countries and only have time for a whirlwind tour of each. There’s so much else there I’d love to see! Another trip, I suppose. It has entered my mind that if I stay here for another year I’d have another absurdly long winter break to kill…one more thing to take into consideration when making my decision. That’s still very much up in the air.

One of my host father’s friends was over today and was trying to tell me how dangerous and war-ridden Cambodia is. Unless he has up-to-the-minute media resources of which I am unaware, I am pretty sure he is only thinking of the war that ended quite recently which has left a lot of mines in the country but should not pose too many travel difficulties otherwise. Everyone here is apprehensive about my long trip abroad. It’s actually a little irritating because I’m sure it’s only because I’m female and it’s assumed I can’t take care of myself ANYWHERE, let alone in moderately dangerous and shady places like Southeast Asia. My host mother asked me today if I had a guide. Who is she kidding??? I’m not going to hire someone to take me around everywhere! That’s not only expensive, but boring! I guess that’s the way they do tourism here, though. Koreans flock out together on tour groups, take photos, and who knows what else. All of these cultural differences have lead my family and co-workers to think I’m very strange for even wanting to be away for so long and essentially by myself. As long as they don’t try to talk me out of it, I don’t care that much. Just wait ‘til they see my photos and hear about it!

This dude also kept asking me if I liked soju and movies. I was horrified for an instant that he might try to ask me out, but then my host mother mentioned a wife and I breathed a sigh of relief. He took my phone number and said he’d call me to go out drinking. Well, this was our actual conversation:
Dude (holding his phone and pretending to call): SOJU! NA! (I)
Me: Ok.
So basically he’ll call me, yell soju, and I’m supposed to know it’s him and go out. I have no idea why he would desire to spend a couple awkward hours in the presence of a foreign woman who butchers his language and annihilates the possibility of any meaningful communication, but who am I to judge? Maybe he’s one of those whose tongue loosens with liquor. It was a funny exchange, though. I wonder what my host mother the hardcore Christian thought of it.

I was toying with the idea of writing the requisite New Year’s Resolutions, but I sort of hate the idea of writing up a new life plan just because it’s 2007. I am immersed in a constant process of reforming myself and don’t need the new year to provide the inspiration. Also, I’m finally at the point where I am genuinely happy with me as I am. That said, there are some things I want to work on, especially when I come back to “normal” life in March.

1. I want to continue living my life more simply—essentially, cut down my reliance on the stuff of which twenty-first century society is based on and I find repulsive. I still want to live in the woods at some point in my life, perhaps next fall when I return, and also go hiking all over the western United States for a few months. I think it will help me gain perspective on what is truly important to me. But in the meantime, taking a personal stance against consumerism is a good step toward the type of life I’d like to lead and my experiences in Korea have helped me do this.

2. I want to continue working on staying in touch with people. It’s never been my strong suit, but now that I’ve graduated and won’t see many of the great friends I made at Pomona unless I make an effort, I am determined to do so. As long as they reciprocate, however…I’m not that crazy!

3. I need to start working on my Korean again. Now that I’ve been here six months and my language ability has pretty much stagnated, I’m realizing osmosis is not going to work (not that I ever really thought it would, but I had my hopes…). I owe it to my family and students to work on communicating with them better. It’s not fair to force them to resort to English, though come to think of it we already do most of our communication in Korean with a smattering of sign language. We just have very simplistic conversations and it makes me sad sometimes that we can’t really get to know each other that well. Then again, do we really need language to get to know someone? I’ve often felt language to be an inadequate tool for expressing myself. Perhaps it’s better that I am learning to rely less on words and more on feelings in my everyday communications with the people around me. Though I think this is very valid, it still would be nice to learn to say a few other things in Korean. My family would be delighted.

4. And then, of course, there are the assorted resolutions to cultivate my mind and body. The mind I don’t have too much trouble with—I try to read a good hour a day from both my Korean history book and whatever other fiction I happen to be working through at the time, and I also have this journal to help me work through my thoughts and feelings of the day and life in general. It’s the body I have more trouble with. I am afraid I am hopelessly out of shape and it frustrates me to think that I can’t manage to be fit without a gym. I am pretty consistent with stretching (I bet I’ll be able to do the splits in a couple months, and when I came to Korea I could hardly touch my toes!), but the whole cardio thing is kinda going by the wayside. I’m determined to not let this time in the country totally ruin my figure, so this is something that I’ll definitely have to work on when I get back. Who knew it would be so tough to work out in the real world? In some ways, I resent the whole idea of working out. It seems to me that if I’m living the type of life I should be, I wouldn’t need to work out because physical work would already be included in my day. But my midriff cries out for attention nonetheless and the consistent cries of “Baby! Baby!” from my students require me to heed the warning. Dangnabbit!

As I’ve been sitting here writing this, Eun Ho and Ye Eun have been taking turns going outside and throwing snowballs at my window. It seems to be a source of great amusement to them. I reiterate: What strange kids! And how I love them for it!

Domestic Tranquility--Friday, January 5

As I sit here, Eun Ho and Ye Eun crawl around on my floor putting together a 500 piece Montana puzzle. It’s really hard and I should be helping them (I put together the entire edge earlier), but my aging body isn’t made for the floor anymore. They really love the animals—Eun Ho’s putting together the bald eagle, and Ye Eun’s into the mountain goat (which I accidentally told her was a big horn sheep…some Montana girl I am!). Again I marvel at their patience. I don’t know many American children (if ANY) who would spend more than five minutes at a challenging puzzle like this. It took us a few days to do it the last time I took it out. But I spoke too soon…now they’re looking at my pictures for the umpteenth time (now my friend Jenny’s height is the point of interest), and Oma’s on the floor putting the puzzle together. What funny funny children they are! Ye Eun’s lately taken to asking me countless questions—this from a girl whose teacher told me she never ever talked in the whole year he had her except to say yes or no toward the end of their time together. She’s constantly asking me how to say things in English, even though I know she’ll never remember them after only hearing once. I appreciate her enthusiasm, though. And now she’s into asking me questions about my pictures. She is slowly memorizing the names of my friends and delights in being able to recognize and name people in different pictures. It is quite remarkable, actually—it’s hard to recognize people in different pictures when you don’t know them, since the camera captures only a piece of them. She is convinced Seth is my boyfriend because I have so many pictures of him and gives me a knowing look whenever I say he’s my friend. And I’ve learned a bit of Korean from them, too. These two youngsters are the only ones I can understand somewhat and we both have the patience to talk very simply to each other. Granted, our conversations generally consist of seventy percent insult trading, twenty five percent one word jokes, and five percent hello/goodbye, but I enjoy them. I really have lucked out in being part of such a wonderful, welcoming, and warm-hearted family. They are my window into Korea and I can see now how it would be easy to have a terrible time here with a host family that wasn’t so perfectly matched for me. There is the whole church thing—my host mother taught a class this morning and they were all singing and reading and who knows what for half an hour before I left for school—but as long as there’s understanding and tolerance, I am happy and grateful. I hope they like me at least a little, too!

Today I had to say goodbye to my principal and co-teacher. I still don’t know if my principal will return in the spring—he evidently is not talking to anybody about it. He was very concerned about my health and safety, as always, and very thankful and appreciative of my work. At least, I think he is. It’s always dangerous with interpreters doing most of the talking. But I am glad now I didn’t complain about my dismal wages. We have a good relationship and I don’t really think they are trying to blackball me. Then again, they did spend that $3000 on a friggin English sensor that repeats the most obnoxious phrases (to the point where I now avoid that section of the hallway)…Well, they’ve already said I can have a week off with my dad when he comes in April, so it’s all good. I’m sure it will come back to me somehow. As I’ve said before, life is pretty sweet and I’m not about to ruin it with minor complaints (about money, of all things!).

Update--Thursday, January 4

This week has really raced by without the regular schedule to rely on and Monday off. That brings me even closer to my trip…I cannot believe I’ll be celebrating my birthday in Vietnam in one week! Yesterday I finished On the Road, my Christmas present from Sam, and it’s made me itch to travel. This trip is coming at the perfect time…I’m sick of the cold, snowless weather and feeling a little bit restless. I’m sure Southeast Asia has the cure for all of this.

It’s been a good week so far. I wrapped up the third and fourth grade winter camp on Tuesday and I’ve been teaching fifth and sixth graders the past two days. I lucked out and only have angels in the class…always a plus. And there are so few of them! Only fourteen of the twenty-one who initially signed up were there yesterday, and only nine today! I don’t know whether to be relieved that my job is made that much easier or offended I’m not more popular among the 12-13 age group. This experience is reaffirming my suspicions that the difficulties of teaching grow exponentionally with group size. True, I probably have good students to begin with in this small class, but still…this is the EASIEST class I’ve ever taught! And with so few kids, I have a lot more flexibility to make the class more engaging and fun. I can also interact with every student. So even though the class is three hours long (can you IMAGINE taking a three hour foreign language class as a fifth grader!), we still manage to have a good time. Gotta give myself kudos for that. Two of the boys told me class was very fun today—something I rarely hear from my male students especially.

I asked my co-teacher about the writing on the fan I was given at the traditional dance performance last weekend. It’s written in Chinese characters that correspond to sounds in Korean (the writing system Korea used until hangeul was invented in the late 15th century, I believe). I am just glad they don’t use it much now…I can’t imagine trying to learn two alphabets, especially when one is so ill-suited for the language! Anyway, it reads as “Il chon yoo shim do” (I think!) and it’s evidently a traditional Buddhist saying that translates to something along the lines of the mind is all and controls everything. A pretty nifty souvenir, overall.

Otherwise, I’ve just been trying to recover from my cold. I watched A Muppet Christmas Carol last night and the kids came in to watch it/bother me. Toward the end, Eun Ho brought in the same book in Korean and marveled at the correspondence between the action in the movie and the pictures in the book. I was amazed that he could figure out what the story was and that the book was in my house at all. He is such a funny little man. I have been spending a lot of time with the younger two lately because they have overcome all reservations concerning me and are constantly bothering me. It’s a good thing I am used to this and find it more endearing than annoying, for it would be easy for my patience to wear thin the 77,000th time Ye Eun asks me to translate something into English or Eun Ho points to a horrific picture of a pig and cries, “Jen!” I really should spend more time with them doing things besides just halfheartedly paying attention to their antics, but I never seem to get around to it. The ol’ to-do list is long these days.

I was talking to my family earlier this week and realized for the first time that my absence was hard on them. To be honest, I didn’t really think about that too much when I decided not to come home…I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I was mostly thinking about my emotional well-being and bank account. I suppose I should have taken other people into account when I made this decision. It is weird to think that I still won’t be seeing them for so long. I’ve been away from home for a touch over six months now—my longest time ever—and I’m still not coming back for nine more months by my calculations. Good thing there are so many other people in the family—they should hardly miss me. That said, it is much easier to be the one who leaves, creating a new life from scratch. The ones left behind must contend with a gaping hole. Guess they’ve forgotten how moody I can be around the holidays! Oh, bless the selective memory!

Seoul New Year--Monday, January 1

I went to Seoul on Saturday morning to meet some friends, sightsee, and celebrate the coming of the new year, and what an eventful weekend it was! I am exhausted now and not looking forward to starting another week of work (especially since I plan to complain to my school about them attempting to short me $150), but it really was a great weekend and totally worth the empty wallet and physical discomfort in the aftermath.

My ride up there was completely uneventful—fast and without incidents of any kind, for once. I had taken my guide book with me and read about the sights of Seoul on the way there, so I was more than ready to take in some historical and cultural sights. I’ve seen a lot of things there so far—palaces, mountains, museums, and markets—but with a 600 year history as the nation’s capital, there’s a lot more there than can be taken in and appreciated in a few days. In reading, I discovered that the historic downtown area where I’d been spending most of my time was actually quite small. I thought all of these things were much more spread out because I’d always taken the zip-zagging subway, but after consulting a good map I found this is not the case. For someone who loves to walk like me, I don’t even need to take the subway much at all! At least, not for the sightseeing I had planned for that weekend.

I met Anurag and his friend from home at Korea National Folk Museum. Anurag is originally from New York and teaches middle school near Gwangju, a couple hours south of me. The folk museum features the standard staples of ancient, quickly tedious artifacts, but it had a lot of really interesting dioramas. At any rate, we were entertained for a couple hours, at which time we decided to attend a free Korean dance performance offered by the museum. It was a lot like the one we saw at Gyeongju (at the Fulbright conference). I remember not being that impressed at first, but Korean dance is gradually growing on me. It features a lot of slow, deliberate movements….well, it’s hard to describe exactly what it is. The opposite of the excitement of breakdance, I suppose. Anyway, that performance was pretty good and we had a great afternoon seeping in Korean traditions and culture.

We then went to Insadong, a busy area with a small street market featuring traditional goods (ceramics, paper, etc.) that I love, and met another ETA, Nika (who went to Pomona with me). First we went to a temple nearby (according to my guidebook, this temple is the heart and soul of Buddhism in Seoul and is a fantastic place to visit on the Buddha’s birthday sometime in April). It was pretty, but definitely much smaller than I am used to. All of the other temples I’ve visited have had massive grounds and many buildings, but this one was very compact. I suppose this is due to the constraints of its location. Anyway, according to my guidebook, it’s pretty amazing it still exists in the city considering all the crackdown on Buddhism in the early years of the Joseon dynasty (1392-1910—this is when Seoul was made the capital so most of the historic sights there are Joseon-era relics. The dynasty ended with Japanese colonization and many Koreans are still very bitter about that period in the country’s history.) We were planning to go to a famous vegetarian restaurant in Insadong run by an ex-monk. It was incredibly expensive, but very delicious and the atmosphere was incredible. It was a very beautiful and friendly place where the architecture had been done in such a way to make you feel you were inside a temple, looking out over the grounds. In the center was a performance area. At eight, a calligraphy/dance/music performance began and we had the best seats in the house. They were literally right next to us the whole time. As a matter of fact, the first dancer sat next to me during the performance and gave me a fan he had covered with calligraphy earlier in the evening. I never win at things like this—I was pretty pleased to be picked out of the crowd to be part of the show! At first I thought I was going to have to dance, but the whole joke was really that he gave me some coy glances and his friend pulled him away. It was really funny to be pretend-seduced by a man wearing lipstick.

Afterward, we met two other ETAs. Jonah and Kiehl and Kiehl’s brother Chubbs had been doing a quick drinking tour of Korea and were determined the debauchery would continue this weekend as well. We met another girl, Aelee, a former ETA who now works at the embassy, and went to a traditional bar in Sincheon, the hip young area near Yonsei University. We discovered a traditional drink I’d never dreamed existed. I forget what it’s called now, but it’s made from bamboo and tastes like spiked apple juice and is incredibly delicious, especially when you are accustomed to the foulness that is makoli or soju or mekju. It was a bit of heaven served in a large bamboo glass. Everyone got pretty tired after that, but I decided to go out with the drinking boys for a while. In retrospect, perhaps this was not the best idea because I ended up so tired I cut my New Year’s Eve short the next night, but it was fun anyway. I’m just geeting too old and decrepit for wild, all-night partying, I guess. We went to a bar and proceeded to play this game they had made up last night. You fill a glass with beer and place a shot glass in it, floating on top. You then take turns pouring soju in the shot glass until it sinks. The person who makes it sink has to drink the whole thing. It’s really a brutal game and it got pretty wild. At one point, Jonah had won a bunch in a row so we made a rule that if you won two in a row you had to play the third one blinded by my fan, and then if you lost to the blind man you had to toss three bottle caps and drink additional shots of soju depending on the outcome of the toss. It was like being back in my freshman year of college! But now I am evidently too old for that kind of “fun.” We were out until around 4, but then on the way home I mentioned that my birthday was coming up so Jonah insisted on buying me a birthday bottle of beer (let’s keep in mind that this birthday “bottle” is a plastic 1.6L jug) and a soju flask. He also made the Family Mart cashier help him sing “Happy Birthday” to me in English. It was hysterical. Since everyone else was sleeping in our room, the two of us sat on the stairs and drank until 7 am. I have no idea how it got to be that late and that was really my downfall there. I don’t regret it—it was the first time I’d really talked to Jonah one-on-one—but I wish I hadn’t been so tired!

I woke up at 11 and decided it was past time to get up. I really hate sleeping in as a general rule, even though I am a night person and usually can’t manage to go to bed until past midnight. This has changed somewhat in Korea as I’ve adapted the habits of the countryside and started going to bed earlier, but still past 11. I hate to sleep in, even though I sometimes need it, for two reasons. First, I feel incredibly lazy when I do so and feel like I’ve wasted a whole day. Second, I think it really screws up my internal schedule and makes it that much harder to wake up early when I need to for work. Thus, even if I stay up very late, I usually try to wake up by nine at the latest. But then again, I don’t know when I’d ever in my life stayed up until 7 am before, so I was entitled to a little more sleep. I didn’t sleep well anyway, unfortunately, but I figured I’d feel better as the day went on. Usually I do.

With what was left of my afternoon after showering and arranging another hostel (the hotel we were at was going to charge us double for New Year’s Eve!), I decided to walk toward some big Joseon-era palaces. I only managed to visit one that day because they closed at 5 and I had to wait for an English tour at this particular one, Changdeokgung. It’s the best-preserved palace in the Seoul area, I believe, and they open it to tours only to keep it that way. What really attracted me to it, to be honest, is the fact that it’s a UNESCO World Heritage Site. I figured it had to be worth seeing, in that case! It was a really nice place. I guess I’d live there if you twisted my arm. It has humongous grounds but we visitors only got a peek of them due to time constraints and their preservation status. Afterward, I went shopping in Insadong to pick up some presents for my co-teacher, and then to Kyobo bookstore to get some new books. I actually didn’t need any at all—I have a backlog of 10 books I have yet to read, plus 2 more promised to me by friends, and I’m not planning on bringing any reading material on my trip with me—but I really like to look and they had some impressive titles on sale. I got Ulysses, which I’ve been meaning to read for some time, and Tales from the Thousand and One Nights, which appealed to me as Indian mythology. I really wanted to pick out a book for my co-teacher, but Kyobo was literally packed with people and the odds of finding a great book in Korean were very slim indeed. I did try, but gave up after claustrophobia hit.

I met Anurag and Jonah and we went to Sincheon to a cheap Mexican food place. The food is not plentiful, but it’s relatively cheap and heavy on the cheese (read: delicious!). And we had Krispy Kremes for dessert. This is perhaps the definition of mashisoyo, in my opinion. And then it was time to begin the New Year festivities. I was feeling really tired by this point, but I still thought I’d rally. We met Kyle, his brother, his girlfriend’s Korean cousin, and Aelee and found a bar called Hobak that had really cheap imported beer. Then we went to a place for Korean drinks. By this time it was nearing midnight and we watched the official countdown on TV. There was a big celebration on the streets not far from our hostel where a big bell rang at midnight, but it was cold and crowded, so we decided not to go. The crew then opted to hit the hookah bar I missed last time when I was on my “date,” but I was so tired I went home instead. The hookah bar keeps evading me! Jonah and Anurag finally came back at 6:30 or so and man o man am I glad I didn’t stay out with them after all…that’s so late! I would have been a mess!

Instead, I got up early and went to the palace I missed out on the day before. It was right next door and built for queens and the king’s other relatives. It was pretty nice, too, and I’m sure it’s much more spectacular at any other season—I’ll have to go back another time. The best part is that it’s connected by a pedestrian overpass to the royal burial grounds I also wanted to visit and you can see both for only $1. Unfortunately, I missed the overpass and walked all the way around, backtracking tremendously in the process. Yet another instance where it’s a good thing I enjoy walking! The burial grounds are also a UNESCO World Heritage Site. It was nice enough to walk around, but the buildings were all closed so you could only see the outside, anyway. I want to come back in May when they perform the worship ceremony. The music is said to be Korea’s Intangible Cultural Asset #1. If I have yet to mention this before, it’s important to note that nearly everything of value in Korea is classified and numbered as such. Many of the buildings and relics I saw on the palace grounds were National Treasures of some number, etc. It’s a funny system.

I decided to be a little adventurous and attempt to find my own way back to the hostel by cutting across some streets. I was afraid I would get lost in the winding streets of Korea, but I managed to find my way with no problems and even walked by the hostel I stayed at in the summer, thus orienting me a bit better to the geography of Seoul. I really love walking for that reason…you really get to know a place. Subways are really nice, but if possible, I prefer to walk. I also bought some baked goods for my fam to convince them to still like me, even though I am leaving them for so long. The end result was that I had an obscene amount of luggage. I like to travel using only my tiny daypack, which was crammed when I came in preparation of a weekend out in Seoul—makeup, heels, etc. So I had no room for the books and bread and knickknacks I bought. I barely made it across town and my stuff kept falling out of the overhead compartment on the bus ride back to Buyeo. I think the bus driver was really mad at me and was making some rude comments, but I couldn’t understand what he said anyway.

But first, when I was on the subway this lady stopped me to ask for directions because I had a “friendly white face.” I was happy to help at first because I thought she was a tourist, but I found out later that she is a teacher too—an EPIK teacher, another teaching program in Korea that the ETAs in bigger cities make fun of because its candidates tend to be of lower caliber. I certainly wouldn’t know, as I’ve never met a non-Fulbright English teacher before. So this lady, Gail, has been in Korea for longer than I have (she mentioned that the first six months were the hardest) and apparently comes to Seoul more often than I, but can’t find her way on the friggin subway! So she asks the girl who lives in the middle of nowhere in Korea and has no public transportation experience otherwise. Man, how incompetent IS she??? I guess this wouldn’t bother me except that she made a few comments that really turned me off (besides the one about my “friendly white face”). I think she thought we were allies as Americans in a foreign land, but she looked to the wrong person. She seems to have this attitude of superiority over Koreans in general, which is EXACTLY what I hate about American tourists. She complained to me about the rudeness of Koreans, as if every single Korean is rude! Sure, I’ve had a few encounters, but it’s not like everyone is polite in America. There are differences in how people are rude—many Koreans aren’t shy about pushing around a stranger in a crowded place, for example—but she seemed blind to the fact that Americans do things that are equally or even more offensive to Koreans. She took for granted that Koreans have our same value system and they were just uneducated. She said, and I (nearly) quote, that “most of them will apologize when I protest, but some of them just push me out of the way!” It was like she felt the need to point out what she thought of as errors in behavior, never realizing that she was in her subtle way contributing to the unfavorable perception of Americans. I am probably overreacting—she wasn’t blatantly disrespectful or offensive and I suspect she was a little more vocal about it to me, a fellow American she assumed detested the same practices—but she seemed to lack the flexibility I think is necessary to be a successful traveler. I pretty much just go with the flow of what is happening around me. If someone pushes me, then I just move! It’s worked pretty well and I wouldn’t say that anyone has actually ever been rude to me. On the contrary—I’ve had many people go out of their way to help me! Maybe I cut a striking figure, looking around hesitantly, never sure quite what to do. Or maybe I’m just more accepting of what Gail sees as intrinsic faults on the part of Korean people. Whatever it is, it’s people like her that make me cringe while abroad. While they may mean well, they never even try to assimilate themselves to the local culture and in fact make it a point to remain distant and disdainful. It’s a wonder Americans are received as well as they are, with representation like that! She was complaining, too, about being stuck in a “small” town of 500,000 where the people weren’t as nice as the ones in Seoul. OMG. You are talking to the WRONG person, lady. And as a matter of fact, I often find people are nicer outside of the city. Well, maybe that’s hard to say. But I would never claim that Seoul people are the nicest! So in conclusion, Gail was a nutcase. We ended our little chat with her complaints about Korean food. She cooks for herself, I gather, and can’t seem to find adequate food supplies except in Seoul. Oh, boo hoo. You poor Jew…you can’t eat pork?? You must be starving! I think she was taken aback when I said I was a vegetarian and had no problems finding food. Seriously…there’s a lot in the grocery stores here. Even in the beginning when I was convinced I was starving or at least malnutritioned, I could always find enough delicious things in the supermarket in Chuncheon, which is much smaller than the city she lives in. The only reason you’d need to go to Seoul for food is if you absolutely needed taco shells or some other ridiculous and superfluous foreign food. OMG. Some Americans…drive me nuts.

But in the end, I had a fun weekend and got home safely, so what more can you ask for? Now all I have standing between me and freedom is this darn winter camp…